Husband and wife Jokes

I have always wondered how do ppl come up with such creative Jokes, here are some for all the married couples ! 

Husband & Wife – Wedding Ring

At a cocktail party, one woman said to another, “Aren’t you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger? ”

The other replied, “Yes I am, I married the wrong man.”

Husband & Wife – Why?

“Dad, I was away for a few days. Yesterday I sent a fax to my wife telling her that I’d be home that night, and when I got into my room I found my wife was in another man’s arms. Why? Dad, tell me why!”

Dad kept silent for a few minutes, then coolly said, “Maybe, Son, she didn’t get the fax.”

Husband & Wife – Same Service

A husband visited a marriage counselor and complaint, “When we were first married, I would come home from the office, my wife would bring my slippers and our cute little dog would run around barking. Now after ten years it’s all different, I come home, the dog brings the slippers and my wife runs around barking.”

“Why complain?” said the counselor, “You’re still getting the same service!” Hahaha, lol.

Husband & Wife – Love To Do

A wife, one evening, drew her husband’s attention to the couple next door and said, “Do you see that couple? How devoted they are? He kisses her every time they meet. Why don’t you do that?”

“I would love to.”, replied the husband. “But I don’t know her well enough.”

Husband & Wife – Come Home Late

A woman was complaining to the neighbour that her husband always came home late, no matter how she tried to stop him.

“Take my advice,” said the neighbour, “and do what I did. Once my husband came home at three o’clock in the morning, and from my bed I called out: “Is that you, Jim?” And that cured him.

“Cured him !” asked the woman, “but how?”

The neighbour said, “You see, his name is Bill.” What a brilliant idea!

Husband & Wife –  Head of the family

"Husband is one who is the head of the family,

but his wife is the neck, and whichever way she turns, he goes."

Husband & Wife –  Hell ya !

A man in Hell asked Devil:

Can I make a call to my Wife?

After making call he asked how much to pay.

Devil : Nothing, Hell to hell is Free.

 Husband & Wife – Q&A

Husband: Do you know the meaning of WIFE?

It means, Without Information, Fighting Everytime!

Wife: No darling, it means - With Idiot For Ever

Wife: I wish I was a newspaper,

So I'd be in your hands all day.

Husband: I too wish that you were a newspaper,

So I could have a new one every day.

Doctor: Your husband needs rest and peace. Here are some sleeping Pills.

Wife: When must I give them to him?

Doctor: They are for you

Wife: I had to marry you to find out how stupid you are..

Husband: You should have known it the minute I asked you to marry me.

Wife: What will you give me if I climb the great Mount Everest ?

Husband: A lovely Push...!