Laugh out a little !
"If I agreed with you . . . we'd both be wrong"-- My fav
"If you're going through Hell . . . keep going - dont turn back"
"Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It is already tomorrow in Australia."
"Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night.'"
"The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us."
"Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use."
" I don't mind coming to work, but this eight hours of wait is just bullshit"
"Effective way to remember the wife's birthday . . . forget it once"
"At a movie theater which arm rest is yours? left one or the right one?"
"If a baby's leg pops out at 11:59PM but his head doesn't come out until 12:01, which day was he born on?"
"To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer."
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